Trials in my life

Being pregnant with Mollee was the #1 hardest time in my life. I had hyperemesis gravidarium (which is a severe kind of morning sickness) for the entire pregnancy and actually ended up losing weight rather than gaining. Basically, Mollee was trying to kill me. So . . . at the end of June when we took this test
and the results showed that . . . I was not excited. There was no big announcement, no celebration, just tears.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to be able to get pregnant, but I suspected that it would be another tough adventure and I have been right. I have spent this summer lying near the toilet for the better part of it. I have been upset and cursing God for most of the time.

I have been wondering, "Why, me?" Why do I get so sick? Why can't those women that I watch on Maury Povich who are testing out 5 different dads get sick? Why can't those women who think that morning sickness is all in my head get sick? Why can't those unwed 16 year old girls get sick? Why, at the very least, can't every woman experience just a little bit of nausea?

As I was asking these questions once again today, I was reading (or rather stalking) everyone else's blogs. I came across Callie Canlas' blog. Callie is a neighbor in my ward (now former ward) and she was talking about another person, Stephanie Nielson and how Stephanie completed a hike a year after her accident. I thought . . . who the crap is this Stephanie and what happened to her. I linked up to her blog and found out that Stephanie was in a private airplane crash with her husband. She and her husband survived, but had to go through a ton of pain, surgery, and time in a burn unit.

When she was finally able to blog again, she was talking about her daily routine and how she prays a lot, cries a lot, and wishes that she were someone else at times. She then said . . . going through this plane crash is my trial. That hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like Heavenly Father said, finally Aimee, you get it. Life is fair. Everyone's trials are different. Some go through physical pain; some go through emotional pain. Some people have really tough pregnancies, some can't have children, some are in unhealthy marriages, some don't have the opportunity to get married, and some people are in plane crashes.

The important thing is, we all have trials and no trial is worse than another's or less painful. If you are going through a trial, remember this, Heavenly Father is there and he does love you. He is not having you go through this because he thinks it's funny or he is getting back at you - he just knows you and he knows that you can make it. Being pregnant is my physical trial - and I will survive.